I once drunkenly informed my boyfriend that he is a stupid boy. That's right guys, caringly carrying your throwing-up-drunk girlfriend from the cocktail bar's bathroom while she desperately clings to the toilet seat and then affectionately putting her to bed, earns you the exclamation "You're a stupid boy". Sweetly responding "But I'm your stupid boy" earns you the blurted "You're still stupid". This to a man with a Masters in Cryptology who was amazing enough to look after me and not judge me.
Sadly, I neither forgot calling him stupid, nor clinging to the toilet seat, but that's not the point of my post. The point is that just because I was drunk when I said it, doesn't mean it's not true when I'm sober. Or when we're all sober.
No, my boyfriend is not generally stupid. He may be a tad challenged when it comes to certain vagaries surrounding human behaviour when aimed at him and he's not so good at reading people, but he's not stupid by a long shot. Except, he's a very stupid boy… For one, he's my stupid boy, which already proves my point. For another, he just doesn't get stuff!
Why is that? They just don't get stuff. It's like we're speaking Latin or Greek or something deader than either of those two… We don't, do we? No, of course not! I mean, how hard is it to understand that carefully sidling up to him while steadfastly maintaining distance and slowly growing agitated and eventually utterly upset, means that we want attention, affection and cuddles and that we want him to make the move? I mean, it's SO obvious!
Sure, we could try our own language for once, but receiving all the above after blatantly asking for it, just is not the same. So where do we find our middle ground? Well, since I make the food, he can stop being stupid! If he does this well, I shall bake him cookies. Or something…
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