So, I've been a really good girl and keeping my negativity to a minimum and just generally being nicer than comes naturally to me. When first I started this blog a very long time ago, I did it, because I needed somewhere to vent, whether good or bad. Today, I just need to get some negative stuff out of my system.
What's gotten me riled? Mommy groups on Facebook!
So, I'm expecting, we've got that covered. One of my friends very helpfully added me to a few mommy groups on Facebook. At first I was grateful, by now, I'm going insane. The only reason I haven't removed myself, is that it saves me subscribing to the 40 pages that occasionally post to these groups with useful insight.
OK, background done, let the griping begin :-)
Why can none of these women spell? At all? In any of the languages they choose to express themselves. Seriously, it's not so hard. "His" means belonging to him. "He's" is a contracted form of "he is". They are not interchangeable. There is also a difference between "babies" and "baby's". You change a baby's diaper, but even babies can spell better than some of these women. (Let's not even mention that this is a common mistake I see in company newsletters and professional articles, as well) And these are just two examples, I won't start on the rest or the abbreviated text, because I might suffer a stroke from sheer frustration. Let's just say, it's great that you made your little one a cutesy lunch and posted a picture on the mommy group of your choice and had a good brag, but you sound (read) like an idiot. I know I'm a huge snob about these things, but all I can think is "That's nice, you're raising a stupid fat kid. Way to go you!" Yes, that's nasty, but I am definitely not the nastiest person out there...
So... they can't spell and have very poor grammar, this naturally translates to stupidity for me (yes, I know all about the valid cases, dyslexia, learning problems, third language, poor education...), but I am still shocked by the questions people ask. Why are you asking a group of a few thousand other idiots medical questions? Your child has lost a massive amount of weight in a week and isn't eating or breathing well and there is blood in their diaper, what should you do? Get the F@*& off Facebook and take your kid to the hospital!!! That's what. Seriously? I'm all for the tougher approach to germs and growing a natural immune system with a little dirt, but that picture you posted looks like your kid is septic and might lose a limb. Why are you on social media and not at the doctor? And why has it taken this long? And what help do you think a woman in a different province, who can't even spell, will be to your child, exactly? So this is the nasty me, again, but not only are you considerably more stupid than your spelling implies, but you are a very poor excuse for a parent.
On the subject of photos that appear to be the rotting limb of a very young child, let us move on to "The Horror Story". Johnson & Johnson is slowly poisoning our little bundles of joy - on purpose. Huggies gave your baby the most amazing chemical burns and don't care even a little. Formula feeding causes brain damage. Vaccinations are linked to Autism. Doctors purposely keep our infants sick to make more money. Who even knows what else they have yet to come up with? For the love of peace, if all of that were true, how the hell are these companies still in business? And everyone with an internet connection can propagate this nonsense. You're scaring the life out of other mothers, who now have no idea who to trust any more, and endangering children everywhere. So now you are an idiot, a bad parent and a dangerous person. You are mostly dangerous, because you are an idiot who communicates with other idiots and you have latched on to an unsubstantiated notion, but you remain dangerous.
From horror story to bad science... Again, anyone with an internet connection can propagate nonsense. If I see one more "New research shows..." article, I might actually comment on something. First off, NONE of those articles are actually the original research paper. Not one. Nor are they the article from the scientific journal the paper was originally reviewed in. They are generally an article from the Times or some rag where the journalist has read the excerpt of the article that reviewed the paper originally, taken the bits that sound juicy, pulled it out of context, grabbed a few random quotes, again out of context and built a consumer "article". THAT IS NOT SCIENCE. It's not even good reporting. And it's dangerous. It's even more dangerous when you then spread this garbage around the internet to people who can't even spell, never mind read a research paper. Stupid, bad, dangerous, ill-informed parent!
And then we have the opinion camps. Bottle or breast, co-sleep or own room, sleep train or whatever it's called when you don't, Huggies or Pampers, organic or not, wearables or strollers, skin-to-skin or not, the list goes on forever. And you're either a blooming Nazi about your point of view, or you can't even stand your ground about the decision you made for your child and you let people guilt you so badly that you spend more time hemming and hawing than parenting. Every kid is different, every parent is different, you do the best you can to match your parenting to your kid, you own your decision, you don't shove it down someone's throat and we all get on with our lives. You're already stupid and dangerous, now you want to be either spineless or bitchy, too. Good heaven! Look at you go.
And while we're on the subject of being spineless, why the hell are you getting pregnant when you are in the situation you are? You're both unemployed, so having a kid seemed a solid idea? Birth control isn't expensive and closing your legs is free. Your partner is an abusive jerk, so you figured having a baby would be good. Seriously? I can't even... Really? That was your plan? You know the top cause of death in pregnant women? Abusive partners. And that is a statistical fact. You're going to let your child grow up seeing that? Thinking that is normal? What the hell is wrong with you? You knew your husband didn't want another child and treats you poorly, but you figured he'd come around as the pregnancy progressed? He doesn't even like your previous child, what's special about the new one? And then you type up your sob story and send it to the administrator to post anonymously and you ask for advice and sympathy, because you are at your wits' end. You are a stupid, selfish, sorry excuse for a human. I won't even start on my opinion of your parenting. I'm not sorry for you, but I spend my day crying for your child. I hold mine tighter and I hug my pets and I thank my husband for being a good man and I thank God I had the strength to say no to relationships a child shouldn't grow up in and men who should not have children. And I bleed a little for those couples who would give anything for a child and would be such wonderful parents, but will never have a child, because life isn't fair.
My thinking, or my hope, is that these groups are created to support new mothers. The advice (another commonly misspelled word) is supposed to be about where to get a good deal, how to deal with a difficult child, how to survive the difficult times, good doctors, etc. It's a SUPPORT group. At least, I think it is. I don't feel supported, I feel surrounded - by stupid, dangerous, ill-informed, judgemental, bitchy, spineless people. WHO ALL PROCREATED, some more than once. I'm scared. I worry that my child might come into contact with theirs. I worry that it's contagious and she might catch it and I'll have to decontaminate her. I also worry that the kid with the rotting leg might have been at the park before us and she'll get whatever is slowly eating his flesh, because I am a new mother and I worry about silly things. I want to keep my child safe, but all the mothers I have been exposed to are nutjob morons and I don't want them or their offspring near my child or even near my pets or me. Somewhere, there must be a group with solid mothers, who can spell and are there to support each other and build each other and make this experience the joy it should be. I wish I knew where they are...
Anyway, that's my gripe, which turned out not to be quick. I shall leave it there now, maybe. My poor husband will probably have to hear about it again...
Happy parenting :-)
