Monday, September 14, 2009

Loyalties

It always amazes me to look at human interaction. Today the thing that caught my attention was loyalty, or lack thereof.

The shocker? It is those we are most loyal to that deserve it least. There's the sister who financially supports her dead-beat brother for the sake of the debt she feels she owes her dead mother. No matter that it near ruined her and he feels no need to get back on his feet while he has this comfy safety net.

What about the wife who dutifully defends her abusive husband. I don't mean the one scared out of her wits, I mean the one who actually believes it's her fault and he's only doing it to help her.

The man who treasures a friendship with a woman who used him as her back-up plan in case the guy she really wanted turned her down. Yes, women do that. No, it's not a nice thing to do. And it definitely is not worthy of trust and friendship and confidence.

The jilted partner who tries to remain friends with someone who hurt them deeply and knowingly. And continues to manipulate and scheme and inflict pain.

The employee who has been loyal for decades. Watching a company grow from a shed to a corporation and never turned away, but who is not appreciated and often taken advantage of, even publicly demeaned.

The employer who blindly protects and defends the employee who steals from him and gives his company a bad name.

What is it about human nature that makes us so inclined toward misplaced loyalty? We're not loyal to the parents that scrimped and saved to give us all we needed or wanted. Nor to the partner who would lay down everything for our happiness. We treat our loyalest colleagues like dirt and have kinder words for strangers than our best friends.

Maybe we need to take stock of what really matters and where loyalty is truly due, before offering it blindly.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Language Conundrum

I was raised fully bilingual - Afrikaans and English. For the most part my home life and friendships were conducted in English and schooling was in Afrikaans. Obviously, both had the odd exception. Interestingly, everything does not happen in both languages in my head. For example, though I am fully capable of doing math in English, I usually count in Afrikaans. The real dilemma for me is that I consider situations language appropriate.

To me, saying I love you doesn't have to mean much of anything. "I love you" is a bubblegum phrase thrown around by darn near everyone for every random situation. This doesn't mean I don't mean it when I say it, it's just more believable if I've said it to you in Afrikaans on occasion...

Then there is the Afrikaans boy band love ballad. They're funny, I don't know why, they just are. The idea of four Afrikaans boytjies getting together to lament their broken hearts is hilarious. Even one at a time, they're rather funny. I don't know, I can't seem to take their "pain" seriously while it's expressed in Afrikaans. I guess I'm a bad person. My favourite Eden aficionado friend seems to think so...

And don't get me started on sexual situations... In time, you can get used to getting hot and bothered around the Afrikaans language, but it's not a very sensual or provocative language, not in that sense, anyway. Mostly it reminds me of bad Boksburg jokes... And vaguely creeps me out...

So, your pain isn't valid if you sing it in Afrikaans and "Kom, Bokkie, kom" makes me want to take a shower, not do dirty things to you. Maar "Ek is lief vir jou" beteken aansienlik meer as "Luv ya".

The little inconsistencies of life